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I told no one, immersed and isolated in my secret life. In moments of fleeting clarity, I wanted to understand what was happening to me. Was it just my marriage problems, or was there something deeper causing me to behave that way?

Getting him to confess his sins and change his ways is the wrong approach. We get emails all the time through our free question portal from women who confronted their husbands.

Who do you know who would not react in a negative, or destructive way?

There were redundancy problems at work; my marriage was showing strains; and there was something large and unnameable missing from my life.

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I ignored it until I could do so no longer, until eventually, for what felt like the sake of my sanity, I resolved to do something about it.

Because we have helped more women save their marriage than I can count. Your mind will tell you your whole life is threatened. It’s not my job to sugarcoat (I was referred to as the “iron fist” by some clients), so don’t get ahead of me. Here are the possibilities: to do is confront him, and you are probably wondering how.